Eien
by Simply Kim
Summary: He needed the world to be as miserable as he was. Since he knew that wouldn't happen, he needed some peace and quiet, alone with his thoughts...


**TITLE: **Eien

**PART: **One-Shot

**WORD COUNT:** 1481

**PAIRINGS: **Atobe Keigo x Tezuka Kunimitsu

**GENRE:** Shounen-Ai

**DISCLAIMERS:** Tennis no Oujisama and it's characters do not belong to me. Credit goes to Konomi Takeshi. I just own the plot of this fic. That's all.

**NOTE #1: Blah** or _**Blah**_ is for emphasis. _**/Blah/**_ is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah_ is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

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**EIEN**

_**~Eternity~**_

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He couldn't remember how long he had been sitting on the hard concrete floor of the university rooftop. Atobe leaned back against the railing and bumped the back of his head twice against it. He could feel the cross-hatched pattern of the iron grills digging into the skin of his back through his jacket, but he didn't care.

He was not in the mood for grandeur. He cut Financial Management class and told Kabaji he would like to be left alone for a while. The incessant chatter around him was too loud and the day was too fair. It was not doing his melancholy mood any good.

He needed the world to be as miserable as he was. Since he knew that wouldn't happen, he needed some peace and quiet, alone with his thoughts. He looked up and stared at the clouds rolling lazily by. He could see the vastness of the blue sky, and he felt insignificant. It wasn't a sentiment he normally indulged in, but now that he was virtually swimming in self-loathing, the gloom seemed to have settled permanently in him.

With a small snort of derision, he closed his eyes and let his body relax. He needed to be strong. As strong as he usually was and maybe more.

He could still picture the state of his study, where three photo-books were fanned out, each bearing the glaring name of the matchmaking agency his parents fondly and quite joyfully picked out for him. His father had been urging him to divulge what his plans were after graduation. His mother wanted beautiful grandchildren to succeed the family name. They were both hopeful and he could see it in the way they talked about the future.

For the first time in his life, he felt suffocated.

He did not know what to do or what to say, but to continue procrastinating, prolonging the agony of everybody involved. His father, his mother, the matchmaking company...

… _Mitsu_.

He opened his eyes and stared blankly at a particularly slow bunch of clouds that suddenly blocked his sun. "Kunimitsu." He murmured quietly. "I wonder if he'd still take me back..."

**OxxxOxxxO**

Tezuka sat at the farthest seat from the lecturer's platform. A book was open before him and his notebook was beside it, ready to be used. He was supposed to be taking notes since the final exam was near, but he couldn't focus.

He could only sit there and stare at the illustrations on his world history book without even deciphering what the shapes were. Every word was a blur, every shape was something his mind suddenly couldn't decipher. Sighing, he closed it and rested his chin on his hand, leaning forward and planting his elbow solidly on the table. With distracted eyes, he gazed out the clear glass window, tuning out his professor's gravelly monotone.

He wanted to go out and think about things. He wanted to walk along the tree-lined avenue of his university, alone with his thoughts. He didn't usually like being around groups of people, but this was his curriculum. This was his future and he couldn't do anything about it.

_The future..._

He felt a crunching pain in his gut as memories of yesterday's phone call came rushing back cruelly. It wasn't as if he didn't care. In fact, he did. However, things like the future mattered as well. It was the most rational thing to say – and definitely the most rational thing to do. He didn't like it, but they both had to face the facts and look at the reality before them. Still, wouldn't it be okay to just...

"A penny for your thoughts, Tezuka-san."

The urgent raspy voice snapped him out of his reverie and he looked up, berating himself for being caught when he should have remained inconspicuously hidden this far back. This professor was good. Really good.

"Sorry, sir." He acknowledged, standing up and bowing down in apology. He could feel everyone's eyes on him. The tips of his ears felt hot in response and he winced inwardly.

"Make sure you listen, Tezuka-san. This lesson is part of your final exam."

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now sit down."

He did so quietly and rearranged the books before him in hopes that his concentration would come rushing back. All to no avail. With an inward sigh, he settled on copying notes from the written information on the whiteboard.

_What do I do? _He asked himself.

With complete resignation, he gritted his teeth and started writing.

**OxxxOxxxO**

Atobe stared blankly at the three colourful folders on his desk.

He knew it was not a good idea to lay it out while waiting for Tezuka. Sighing, he tore his eyes away from them and decided on admiring the new rug he purchased just the other day. However, for some reason, his gaze seemed magnetically attached to the files. Soon enough, he was back to staring blankly at them, his body taut in anticipation of the sound of jangling house keys.

When the familiar noise came, he bristled and bit his lip. Slowly, he looked up, straight at the doorway where his partner was, standing awkwardly and gazing at him uncertainly. Atobe nodded and gave a wan smile before commencing his silent war with the matchmaking files.

The couch moved slightly as Tezuka sat down beside him. Atobe's insides thrummed in anticipation. Would this be a continuation of their argument over the phone last night? Would they be able to patch things up and get through this gargantuan obstacle that suddenly presented itself before them? Would they break up? Countless questions raced in his mind and his hands started sweating.

"Keigo." Tezuka asked quietly. "Are those the _omiai _files?"

He nodded stiffly. He sat still as his partner took the folders and started shuffling through them. The sound of glossy papers cut through his ears as if they were shrill shrieks of agony. For a brief moment of amusement, he thought it was just mirroring the sound of his heart.

Soon, the noise stopped and all was silent. Atobe wondered if it was the right time to look at Tezuka. He wanted to, but he cowed. He wouldn't be able to take in disgust and distaste after all. And suffering. He wasn't used to seeing those emotions on someone else's face. Much more that of his partner.

Finally, Tezuka spoke. "Keigo... what do we do?"

His eyes snapped up and he found himself staring at Tezuka's distraught features. As much as he was capable of showing at least. Atobe saw uncertainty in those eyes. The usual cool features were twisted into something he could only brand as desperation.

A small seed of hope started blooming in him. Tezuka didn't break things off. He wanted to resolve this together. The _**'we'**_ gave it away. A small smile played on his lips and he turned fully sideways, placing a hand on the other man's knee.

"Mitsu." He murmured. "Like I said last night, I'm going to reject these."

Tezuka gazed back at him, brows slightly knitted. "You can't do that. They're counting on you."

"I'll adopt."

"We can't hide any longer if you reject these offers."

Atobe sighed, shaking his head irritably. "I know." He said, strongly this time. "I'm not an idiot, okay? I completely understand what the repercussions would be and I'm fully prepared. I'm not a pampered kid anymore. So stop treating me like one."

"I'm not treating you like a child, Keigo."

Atobe waved his hands dismissively and sank deep into the cushions of the sofa. "You're just worried. I know that too." He groaned. "But really, you don't have to worry so much. I'm sure they'd be okay with us."

"I'm not sure about that." Tezuka sighed. "Worst is they would disown you."

He snorted. "This sounds ungrateful, but I don't really care. I'm Atobe Keigo. I can make things happen. I do things _**my**_ way."

"I'm serious, Keigo."

"Mitsu." Atobe started with a confident grin. "I am my own person. I will decide for myself. I have made a decision and I decided not to get married." His fingers found Tezuka's hair and played with the dark unruly strands. "Until time comes you don't want me anymore." He mused playfully. "Balls in your court. What do you say, _na_, Mitsu?"

He felt Tezuka stiffen. Atobe imagined he could hear the cogs in his partner's mind creaking from overuse. He stifled his laughter and cleared his throat. "Well?" He prodded carefully.

Tezuka heaved a huge breath and his body relaxed. wriggling closer to him, uncharacteristically possessive for a brief, unguarded moment. "I'll play."

And relief washed over Atobe like a huge tidal wave.

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**ENDE**

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A/N: First AtoZuka fic in such a long, LONG time. I have to get my handle back on Buchou-Love. X3 I missed them so much. :3


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